He talked about his son and daughter, who were 29 and 30, who were now running his business. He had something in his life to teach someone else, and he left it with them.
As it happens, very shortly after this guy gave his speech, he died in a plane crash.
He stressed the importance of having this teaching and training of someone else, or many others. And he asked, as I said, what are you passing on?
For me it's my journals. That's about all I can think of, plus whatever else I can.
I don't know if I will ever get to these, but Elizabeth Wurtzel's books were mentioned (I've never even read Prozac Nation, but it does sound interesting), Hannah and the Angels (sounds kind of young for me, but you never know--it was a childhood influence for someone), Amelia's Notebook---that looks good, age difference or no. Also Sylvia Plath and Anais Nin were mentioned.
There were some interesting ideas for journals mentioned there today also, sort of prompts and journal styles too.
embodiment is for journalers who write every day, which basically I do, unless I'm absolutely very sick or something terribly unusual comes up.
Hannah and the Angels
Poppy Brite / Courtney Love
Oh yeah, got sheets too.
I am at the library, got four books which I a very glad about--a Stephen King that's new to me, two new to me by with John Grisham, and Jonathan Kellerman. I am not that familiar with JK but just need something to read. I finished The Hours by Michael Cunningham, it was very well written. Rather sad, at both ends. And I have The Oath, by Elie Wiesel. The whole bedbug thing and sleeping on the floor, and my room being all goofy for a year, just makes me disoriented. WEll, all of the weirld stuff in my life makes me feel disoriented. (They are spraying again for bedbugs, or more likely doing another bomb, on Monday) .
The Stephen King one is a Richard Bachman novel, Roadwork.
Today: finished Roadwork, then Gone. Very cheery material. Not. I usually can't put Stephen King down, and sometimes that's a curse. This time it was a bit creepy for me.
We are having a bedbug bomb today, so I get to keep busy till at least 6:30 p.m., not a problem with a library available.
The bedbug shit. It's still hurting all the fuss over it. But I guess there is something worse.
Great link, the technique worked for someone at TQC who had a bad earache, could not tolerate ampicillin. I used 2 12 or 16 ounce bottles of hot tap water which finally knocked out a really bad eye/ear/nose/throat thing:
Dunno why feeling sad over #1, a scene from The Fellowship, I believe. Bad times though, now that I think of it. Good drawing, I think.
I believe this is "Black Anna" by one of my favorite artists, Kaethe Kollwitz:
I modified the writer icon base, but it is not that great, & I will probably try again. For now I am using the one that's a bit worked-on looking, has a circle around it and the original color. The plain one was worked on too, but just clarified mainly.
The cup and spoon in bowl is from a journal page, & I just cleaned up what was around it.
( whole page behind cutCollapse )
I feel helpless and ...what's past is past. I wish I could go through some of it though, with a sponsor.
I did what I always do, I start to succeed, then I make up a reason to back out. Some of me thinks I could have made it somehow without telling anyone about the bbs.
And I am just plain in a mostly good mood.
I just accidentally clicked on this a minute ago:
What’s New · Writer-in-Residence Program
The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County Foundation Writer-in-Residence Program
The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County invites applications from local writers for the first Writer-in-Residence program. This program will provide the opportunity for a local writer to showcase his or her literary work and promote writing and literacy in the community.
Dates of residency: September through November 2014
Benefits of residency:
Requirements for eligibility:
Applicants should submit the following:
Application deadline: All materials must be received by August 31, 2014
Send materials to:
The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County
The candidate selected will be announced in September at the Library Foundation Donor Event.
Just interesting. A thought going through my head this week is "a little money, and a room of one's own": Virginia Woolf I believe.
I hope the mouse works, I have a friend's old computer, and would like to get it to run decently, would like to use one at home.
They ignore just about everything I think. A friend reported a rather suspicious "Asian Bodywork" establishment that lists no services, has nothing but towels and lovely young Asian women in it. They are open all hours, apparently. It doesn't remotely look like a legitimate massage parlor. I don't think anything is going to get done about it. There is no vice squad in this police dept.
I wonder what would happen if they asked for passports? These women were no doubt lured out of their country with the promise of jobs, then had their passports taken, were drugged and beaten, and of course they don't even speak the language. If anyone gets arrested, the girls will get deported, and the pimps? I wonder.
Someone gave me a website, ph# to report human trafficking. Might be the only resort. This is not the first such place to pop up within a few blocks, and it seems like they were there years before anyone caught on.
She kept saying I could talk to her about anything, anything, whenever I felt like talking to anyone. Then she seemed to do a turnabout, one day told me how selfish I was, etc.
Bottom line I don't feel like friending her back. Though maybe an explanation is in order. Other than the great big telling off, there is other stuff. One major thing is that there was a night I went out walking and met her and a friend, not intentionally, they just happened to be out at the same time really late.
They acted really weird but said they were going to the rectory and I went with them, and something quite nasty happened that my alters told me about. I barely remember anything. It took me years to realize something happened, and longer to figure out just what I'm saying now.
Counselors were saying I need to forgive her for not listening to me when I really needed someone to talk to. I didn't tell them everything, there just wasn't time. There is more.
But I just don't trust her--I can't believe someone who called herself my best friend expects to friend me again without some kind of discussion. I am seriously afraid that whatever she did that night is something she was involved in again.
This just is not right.
"Early on, I had learned to swallow my questions altogether or to only occasionally ask Jim or the kids about stuff I didn't understand. I clung to Jim's side in public, following his cues, speaking only when I was absolutely sure of the right thing to say."
That's how I feel a lot of the time, most of my life I have felt that way. That I remember.
I was "remembering" some stuff from my teen life (someone says "lie") and of course it isn't pretty, about my mom. I want to figure out the lie before I say it.
I already feel I have told my Al-anon friends a version of the truth that at least falls short of something major. I was doing my best at the time, and I was sort of aware something was telling me just not to say anything. But it's kind of hard not to say anything.
I made a Tumblr account after seeing a post about the autism community there, I'm entersinging. I don't know if I'm going to do much there, I don't seem to be able to do much at a lot of the places I have an account. No internet or even non-internet computer at home, so, yep.
And a Marilyn icon, after googling 'woman writing in journal'.
I left that store or clothes acquisition place, and I guess met with Francois and she asked me to go to her place of work and sign in for her and be there in her place and sign the time sheet for her, sign in and out. I went and I knew all she needed was for someone to sign in and out for her, but I was reluctant to do it, so I just went there and walked around trying to get the courage to go to the desk to sign her in, but trying to figure out how to do it and not be caught but not really wanting to do it.
Later I think I was at Kevin's and was still working there, still interacting with their family. Then Don and Margaret's which is a bit disturbing. They ...I can't remember this part of the dream. Not really disturbing, I guess.
I woke up and thought that knitted skirt and sweater outfit was something only a grandmother would wear. I did just pick out a shirt with shell buttons just lately, at a free store/church clothes closet. But it was raw linen color with blue paisleys, not so bad. And only enough real shell buttons to be useful, not all over the clothes as decoration.
F. is an RN, and one time a certain pastor I knew from RCC had told me I could be a nurse--I said I didn't know what my career should be. That was over the top as far as him telling me what my abilities were, I thought.
But the dream is about me being leery of doing something in a dream that in real life I would never do.
Don & Margaret were there at the end, we were going on a road trip. It seemed to be delayed. I remember we were going on a church trip and the inner folks just messed things up, they were not going, misbehaved the whole trip. I did not even realize then I was an atheist. The church involvement was mostly not customary for me, so I guessed that was it.
I would not buy that outfit or even waste my time taking it home if it were free, no one I know would want it. I would not even sign someone else's name in at a hospital as employee or patient, I don't care for the punishment. I am kind of glad for going on the church trip for things I learned, but I felt like I was going along with them pretending to want to be an evangelist as they were. But I wanted to learn.
It was about me trying to keep up with what seemed to be expected of me, what I was told, what I thought was expected of me, I was aiming at perfection in what I thought human beings expected of me. I guess this is trying to tell me I am on the right path so far, just need to trust my gut and my heart.
I have been hanging out at a church facility, used to be a Mason hall, now it's a place for meetings, Bible study, community meals. I haven't attended church but at the Vineyard and then only twice. Lots of reasons.
I am reading Banished, by Lauren Drain and Lisa Pulitzer. (I'm reading it at the library, as I've racked up my fines again.) It's about a woman who got involved with the Westboro Baptist Church when she was a teen, because her father had joined and brought in his family. He isolated her and controlled her, so far as I have read. The church deliberately wants to stir up anger, which will cause them to be persecuted, and that means they will earn Brownie points with God. Which I guess pretty many people get by now.
The gift shop was about as trendy as you get on this side of town, lots of fun stuff I wish I could afford. The owner, Tara, gave me a hearty hug when she met me, then before I left.
It doesn't help that I just feel like I am in the middle old things, old acts that I don't remember, I wasn't there for.
And I must be doing things majorly wrong for the sake of getting it done now instead of waiting, but I can't wait anymore.
And it was a shitty morning, getting along with my mother is costing me my relationship with my sister.