You are viewing kindmemory

26 September 2023 @ 01:29 am
Some entries are Friends Only, some are public.

16 December 2014 @ 12:07 pm Just funny. Boredbutton is fun.
12 December 2014 @ 02:51 pm
A little consideration, a little thought for others makes all the difference.
02 December 2014 @ 02:06 pm

arlissbase arlisssimple arliss100 arliss3
20 November 2014 @ 04:36 pm
There was this cool video last night of a guy who was asking are you a mentor, or do you have one, a mentor or mentee? He was a preacher who was a friend of several people at the church where I attended last night, fondly remembered. He was saying Jesus said, if I do not go--die and leave you apostles-- then the Comforter will not come (the Holy Spirit). This guy was saying you need to teach other people to do what you know how to do, this is your legacy.

He talked about his son and daughter, who were 29 and 30, who were now running his business. He had something in his life to teach someone else, and he left it with them.

As it happens, very shortly after this guy gave his speech, he died in a plane crash.

He stressed the importance of having this teaching and training of someone else, or many others. And he asked, as I said, what are you passing on?

For me it's my journals. That's about all I can think of, plus whatever else I can.
17 November 2014 @ 07:11 pm
I posted an article at embodiment about Harriet the Spy, this year is the 50th anniversary. I asked about inspirations and got some interesting replies.

I don't know if I will ever get to these, but Elizabeth Wurtzel's books were mentioned (I've never even read Prozac Nation, but it does sound interesting), Hannah and the Angels (sounds kind of young for me, but you never know--it was a childhood influence for someone), Amelia's Notebook---that looks good, age difference or no. Also Sylvia Plath and Anais Nin were mentioned.

There were some interesting ideas for journals mentioned there today also, sort of prompts and journal styles too.

embodiment is for journalers who write every day, which basically I do, unless I'm absolutely very sick or something terribly unusual comes up.

Elizabeth Wurtzel
Amelia's Notebook
Hannah and the Angels
Poppy Brite / Courtney Love
Sylvia Plath
Anais Nin
Current Location: see music
Current Mood: better
Current Music: it's the library
13 November 2014 @ 04:47 pm

Just sayin'
10 November 2014 @ 04:02 pm
Sat. 11-8-14: have a bed, thanks to friend Linda who is always helpful to the max. I helped her drag the mattress & box springs in, then get table and chairs (from a garage sale) from her truck to Bridget's porch.

Oh yeah, got sheets too.

I am at the library, got four books which I a very glad about--a Stephen King that's  new to me, two new to me by  with John Grisham, and Jonathan Kellerman. I am not that familiar with JK but just need something to read. I finished The Hours by Michael Cunningham, it was very well written. Rather sad, at both ends. And I have The Oath, by Elie Wiesel. The whole bedbug thing and sleeping on the floor, and my room being all goofy for a year, just makes me disoriented. WEll, all of the weirld stuff in my life makes me feel disoriented.  (They are spraying again for bedbugs, or more likely doing another bomb, on Monday) .

The Stephen King one is a Richard Bachman novel, Roadwork.

Today: finished Roadwork, then Gone. Very cheery material. Not. I usually can't put Stephen King down, and sometimes that's a curse. This time it was a bit creepy for me.

We are having a bedbug bomb today, so I get to keep busy till at least 6:30 p.m., not a problem with a library available.

The bedbug shit. It's still hurting all the fuss over it. But I guess there is something worse.

Great link, the technique worked for someone at TQC who had a bad earache, could not tolerate ampicillin. I used 2 12 or 16 ounce bottles of hot tap water which finally knocked out a really bad eye/ear/nose/throat thing:
Tags: ,
06 November 2014 @ 10:58 am
barrowbanneroriginal watercolorlove facehi

Dunno why feeling sad over #1, a scene from The Fellowship, I believe. Bad times though, now that I think of it. Good drawing, I think.
11 October 2014 @ 04:22 pm
Title says it all, hope it is a good one tomorrow.
01 October 2014 @ 03:03 pm
Sponsor Call day, so a bit more sane-feeling than usual. I have been doing 3 Bible studies a week in the last few months. Sometimes haven't made it, unfortunately missed a good speaker on Revelation last week.

I believe this is "Black Anna" by one of my favorite artists, Kaethe Kollwitz:

Current Location: library
Current Mood: improved over yesterday
Current Music: A mighty Fortress , What Wondrous Love Is This, Deep Deep Love, Holy Holy Holy
25 September 2014 @ 12:27 pm
icondefault spiralfade spiral lookback writercirclebase

I modified the writer icon base, but it is not that great, & I will probably try again. For now I am using the one that's a bit worked-on looking, has a circle around it and the original color. The plain one was worked on too, but just clarified mainly.


The cup and spoon in bowl is from a journal page, & I just cleaned up what was around it.
whole page behind cutCollapse )
18 September 2014 @ 05:22 pm
I let go of Rosemary M-o~0=n this week or last, because...Terry had said she was mean. But she does send those letters every year. I never followed up on my confirmation sponsorship because I never believed in the church. Or I was angry.

I feel helpless and ...what's past is past. I wish I could go through some of it though, with a sponsor.

I did what I always do, I start to succeed, then I make up a reason to back out. Some of me thinks I could have made it somehow without telling anyone about the bbs.
26 August 2014 @ 04:16 pm
I obtained a tracball mouse at the free store this a.m., plus 2 pair shoes and other clothing items, and couple for some for my sister.

And I am just plain in a mostly good mood.

I just accidentally clicked on this a minute ago:

What’s New · Writer-in-Residence Program


The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County Foundation Writer-in-Residence Program

The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County invites applications from local writers for the first Writer-in-Residence program. This program will provide the opportunity for a local writer to showcase his or her literary work and promote writing and literacy in the community.

Dates of residency: September through November 2014

Benefits of residency:

  • $10,000 stipend

Requirements for eligibility:

  • Active full or part-time writer

  • Must reside in southwest Ohio

  • Must conduct a writer’s workshop, speak at four community events and participate in Library promotions during residency

Applicants should submit the following:

  • A cover letter outlining interest in the residency

  • Current resume, including a list of publications and completed projects

  • A sample of recent work

Application deadline: All materials must be received by August 31, 2014

Send materials to:

The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County
Attention: Kimber L. Fender, The Eva Jane Romaine Coombe Director
800 Vine Street
Cincinnati, OH 45202

The candidate selected will be announced in September at the Library Foundation Donor Event.

Just interesting. A thought going through my head this week is "a little money, and a room of one's own": Virginia Woolf I believe.

I hope the mouse works, I have a friend's old computer, and would like to get it to run decently, would like to use one at home.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: excitedexcited
25 July 2014 @ 03:02 pm
I was in such a bad way emotionally this a.m. that I decided I was happier when I wasn't perfect. Or perfectly, painfully honest about things that are not that important but make me feel guilty.
15 July 2014 @ 12:19 pm
This is Martin Freeman, who of course plays Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit movies. That cup reminded me of one I bought a few years ago at Goodwill for .50¢. It now has a chip in it, but I really love it, it just has happy stripes on it (see second pic, found quite a few pics of it in Google, since it was a Starbucks mug).


large on black
07 July 2014 @ 03:22 pm
Had a double birthday dinner, not much got talked about, middle bro got rather plastered. That was on Friday. I went out for little while to see what fireworks were going on locally, and sat and watched few blocks away, for a while. Just enough so I didn't feel deprived, not enough to be bored. The local police look the other way every year while monstrous displays go on, it's all okay if no one gets hurt.

They ignore just about everything I think. A friend reported a rather suspicious "Asian Bodywork" establishment that lists no services, has nothing but towels and lovely young Asian women in it. They are open all hours, apparently. It doesn't remotely look like a legitimate massage parlor. I don't think anything is going to get done about it. There is no vice squad in this police dept.

I wonder what would happen if they asked for passports? These women were no doubt lured out of their country with the promise of jobs, then had their passports taken, were drugged and beaten, and of course they don't even speak the language. If anyone gets arrested, the girls will get deported, and the pimps? I wonder.

Someone gave me a website, ph# to report human trafficking. Might be the only resort. This is not the first such place to pop up within a few blocks, and it seems like they were there years before anyone caught on.
27 June 2014 @ 05:48 pm
Kind of freaked out--a friend from high school/college just friend requested me on Facebook. I had pretty much sworn her off. She basically did the same to me many years ago, said I was her best friend...not that I felt the same way or wanted her to say that, I felt clumsy about it.

She kept saying I could talk to her about anything, anything, whenever I felt like talking to anyone. Then she seemed to do a turnabout, one day told me how selfish I was, etc.

Bottom line I don't feel like friending her back. Though maybe an explanation is in order. Other than the great big telling off, there is other stuff. One major thing is that there was a night I went out walking and met her and a friend, not intentionally, they just happened to be out at the same time really late.

They acted really weird but said they were going to the rectory and I went with them, and something quite nasty happened that my alters told me about. I barely remember anything. It took me years to realize something happened, and longer to figure out just what I'm saying now.

Counselors were saying I need to forgive her for not listening to me when I really needed someone to talk to. I didn't tell them everything, there just wasn't time. There is more.

But I just don't trust her--I can't believe someone who called herself my best friend expects to friend me again without some kind of discussion. I am seriously afraid that whatever she did that night is something she was involved in again.

This just is not right.
24 June 2014 @ 03:00 pm
I happened to pick up a book to look at while I was waiting for a computer--I Forgot to Remember by Su Meck. I flipped to the last chapter or so, and she's talking about not being able to remember anything, some days not even how to read or do math, and that she is too embarrassed to ask or explain sometimes. The description of her mindset is so familiar.

"Early on, I had learned to swallow my questions altogether or to only occasionally ask Jim or the kids about stuff I didn't understand. I clung to Jim's side in public, following his cues, speaking only when I was absolutely sure of the right thing to say."

That's how I feel a lot of the time, most of my life I have felt that way. That I remember.

I was "remembering" some stuff from my teen life (someone says "lie") and of course it isn't pretty, about my mom. I want to figure out the lie before I say it.

I already feel I have told my Al-anon friends a version of the truth that at least falls short of something major. I was doing my best at the time, and I was sort of aware something was telling me just not to say anything. But it's kind of hard not to say anything.

I made a Tumblr account after seeing a post about the autism community there, I'm entersinging. I don't know if I'm going to do much there, I don't seem to be able to do much at a lot of the places I have an account. No internet or even non-internet computer at home, so, yep.
13 June 2014 @ 04:09 pm
made a couple weeks ago, just messing with brushes and textures. But I don't know what I want to do with the graphic program. Some other stuff.

And a Marilyn icon, after googling 'woman writing in journal'.



10 June 2014 @ 05:07 pm
I had a dream about me in a clothing store, buying navy pants and a blouse, or picking them out--like I was getting something free. But there was a pink and white cotton sweater-knit skirt and blouse that was supposed to go with the pants. It had shell buttons (w/ one hole near the edge) and white or opalescent white seed beads all over it, I think a largish checker pattern in pink or white as the knitted pattern. I couldn't even pursue the thought of choosing that, although I liked it. I did think that I should

I left that store or clothes acquisition place, and I guess met  with Francois and she asked me to go to her  place of work and sign in for her and be there in her  place and sign the time sheet for her, sign in and out. I went and I knew all she needed was for someone to sign in and out for her, but I was reluctant to do it, so I just went there and walked around trying to get the courage to go to the desk to sign her in, but trying to figure out how to do it and not be caught but not really wanting to do it.

Later I think I was at Kevin's and was still working there, still interacting with their family. Then Don and Margaret's which is a bit disturbing. They ...I can't remember this part of the dream. Not really disturbing, I guess.

I woke up and thought that knitted skirt and sweater outfit was something only a grandmother would wear. I did just pick out a shirt with shell buttons just lately, at a free store/church clothes closet. But it was raw linen color with blue paisleys, not so bad. And only enough real shell buttons to be useful, not all over the clothes as decoration.

F. is an RN, and one time a certain pastor I knew from RCC had told me I could be a nurse--I said I didn't know what my career should be. That was over the top as far as him telling me what my abilities were, I thought.

But the dream is about me being leery of doing something in a dream that in real life I would never do.

Don & Margaret were there at the end, we were going on a road trip. It seemed to be delayed. I remember we were going on a church trip and the inner folks just messed things up, they were not going, misbehaved the whole trip. I did not even realize then I was an atheist. The church involvement was mostly not customary for me, so I guessed that was it.

I would not buy that outfit or even waste my time taking it home if it were free, no one I know would want it. I would not even sign someone else's name in at a hospital as employee or patient, I don't care for the punishment. I am kind of glad for going on the church trip for things I learned, but I felt like I was going along with them pretending to want to be an evangelist as they were. But I wanted to learn.

It was about me trying to keep up with what seemed to be expected of me, what I was told, what I thought was expected of me, I was aiming at perfection in what I thought human beings expected of me. I guess this is trying to tell me I am on the right path so far, just need to trust my gut and my heart.
07 June 2014 @ 04:26 pm
The library is my home away from home, my shelter and the place I run to. This is a graphic from their front page. I do not belong to the Book Club. I joined years ago because a friend urged me. I was a lot less of a joiner then. It might be nice now.

I have been hanging out at a church facility, used to be a Mason hall, now it's a place for meetings,  Bible study, community meals. I haven't attended church but at the Vineyard and then only twice. Lots of reasons.

05 June 2014 @ 07:09 pm
Heh, more fun with graphics--my textures, my brushes, a gradient:


I am reading Banished, by Lauren Drain and Lisa Pulitzer. (I'm reading it at the library, as I've racked up my fines again.) It's about a woman who got involved with the Westboro Baptist Church when she was a teen, because her father had joined and brought in his family. He isolated her and controlled her, so far as I have read. The church deliberately wants to stir up anger, which will cause them to be persecuted, and that means they will earn Brownie points with God. Which I guess pretty many people get by now.
29 May 2014 @ 12:59 pm
Do not know what was wrong with me yesterday, but it did me good to vent. I went with my friend Linda to help her unload some of her pottery to a gift shop and she unexpectedly gave me 10 bucks. I gave some away already, might save some for coffee, on sale this week at CVS, & for some green beans. But it's good to be able to give at meetings & stuff, I feel so bad when I keep passing the basket on.

The gift shop was about as trendy as you get on this side of town, lots of fun stuff I wish I could afford. The owner, Tara, gave me a hearty hug when she met me, then before I left.
28 May 2014 @ 12:25 pm
I couldn't be less happy today, I went to an Al-anon meeting this a.m. and there was nothing but more and more confusion, and frustration. Compounded by my same old way with dealing with things, all of the same old ways. I got a magazine (Forum) and a tip on what to read in the books. But I just feel like I separate myself from everyone else, even when I am acting friendly and helpful.

It doesn't help that I just feel like I am in the middle old things, old acts that I don't remember, I wasn't there for.

And I must be doing things majorly wrong for the sake of getting it done now instead of waiting, but I can't wait anymore.

And it was a shitty morning, getting along with my mother is costing me my relationship with my sister.