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10 November 2015 @ 02:57 pm
Some entries are Friends Only, some are public.

22 November 2016 @ 04:01 pm

This is pretty interesting, Maj. Tsarfati thinks the European Union is going to be building an army, says Britain did not want this because they felt helping to build up an army would weaken their own military forces. I myself hope Brexit is carried through, I hope Britain does not have to be part of the EU, just because the EU is just rotten right now, my impression is they are not helping handle to handle the refugee crisis well. In Germany the refugees who rape are DEFENDED, not prosecuted, as if they were poor idiots who just need more blankets and beer.

Last year about this time the headlines from Germany were 150 police assigned to the Muslim rapes of German women, and 1400 assigned to deal with German protesters, people who were picketing and demonstrating against the rapes. Uh? This is just so liberal that it's insanity.


Tsarfati is saying Europeans are getting sick of this, that they are going to start leaning right and that this will create the atmosphere needed for the Antichrist to come into power.

At the beginning he talks about the RCC Pope saying that not just bishops and cardinals may forgive confessions of abortion, but also regular priests. Before this you had to find a higher level cleric to get absolution if you convinced them you have repented.

To me, this announcement amounts to PERMISSION to do it, if you know the mentality of the RCC, and I do.
22 November 2016 @ 02:59 pm
This was part of a varying conversation at Youtube, on a video talking about the possible discovery of the Ark of the Covenant. This woman just posted out of the blue, not about the Ark:

Yesterday 8:05 PM
Israel or the "Jews" today are going to be destroyed by God, God is going to send his armies and destroy the Jews for rejecting Jesus Christ, his wrath is very much upon the Jews
(1 Thessalonians 2:14-16 Zechariah 14:2 Luke 21:20-24 John 3:36)
The greatest nations are those with the greatest amount of Believers in Jesus Christ.

So I answered:
3:19 PM
The reason God allows armies to attack people is to give them a chance to repent. This is to correct them, not to annihilate them. As the Bible says, He often allows evil people to live because He only corrects those he LOVES. So He is not going to allow the Jews to be exposed to hostile attacks because He hates them but because He loves them very much.There are Jews who turn to Jesus and become Christians, IN ISRAEL. So God will allow bad things for the sake of repentance. He often saves those who have already repented, so possibly many Jews who have already turned to Christ will be saved from the attacks to come. There are people who believe that this is what the Rapture means, that those who already belong to Jesus will be spared the killing and tortures.

Many wise Christian teachers and pastors believe that Israel, being God's chosen people, will be purified and repent during the Tribulation, the evil to be suffered at the hands of the Antichrist, and become victorious, the greatest servants of God, like St. Paul was after he repented.

Some nations have a large number of false Christians, who talk nicely about Jesus but who do not really obey. So be careful to realize that not all people who say they are Christians will get saved, and not all people who say they reject Christ will go to hell. God knows who will truly change their hearts, and who are really against Him.

Isaiah 12:4-6:
In that day you[the Jews, when they are brought back from the nations and repent] will say:
“Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name;
make known among the nations what he has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.
Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things;
let this be known to all the world.
Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion,
for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.”

So it is pride to think all Jews will be punished eternally, and that nations with a large number of Christians are all really good, some are, some are not. God will judge them.

Jesus said many who are thought to be last on earth, will be first in Heaven, and many who are thought to be first now, will be last in Heaven."
21 November 2016 @ 02:43 pm
I had made a nice monkey icon for this but I was not watching the time and I did not upload it in time, and suddenly I lost it. Oh, well, I guess.


I had made it from this set:

🐵 🙈 🙉 🙊

Pretty funny, from here. Just copy and paste. I guess it was not that important. I have wasted a lot of time in my life just working on one picky little thing or another, and it doesn't amount to much, usually not worth the time I spent on it. Or usually it didn't even benefit anyone else any.

On a rather different subject, Dope francis, um Pope Francis, has just allowed forgiveness of abortion. Funny, Jesus said two thousand years ago that even prostitutes and murderers could get forgiven and saved, while people who resisted the Holy Spirit, lukewarm people, would not. He goes on to say that it is still a serious sin. I guess so, it's murder.

I live in a city that is very Roman Catholic, and people assume they can get away with all kinds of things, and still stay in the church. And that they are saved. As long as they are "good" people. This includes all kinds of bad behavior and only attending church twice a year, or behaving badly and never repenting.

A couple I know are preparing a mission to help Catholics to speak in tongues and operate in the Holy Spirit. I never heard anything about them teaching them the word of God. Or why there is no movement of Spirit-filled Catholics (people who are baptized in the spirit, speak in tongues, etc.) who are trying to teach Catholics to be Spirit-filled. I guess I am suspicious of the Roman Catholic Church in general, and a lot of people are saying they will be the One World Religion that will bring the Antichrist into power.

Pope Francis is not a Spirit-filled Catholic.
17 November 2016 @ 07:42 pm
I am nuts. There was a blackberry, a big on this a.m. and I could not help eating it. Then when I went back to sleep I dreamed about these black bugs and I knew it came from the blackberry. I am all concerned that I get a phone and I guess money too. But I'm not a working person, I took the easy road. Though it wasn't easy.

And I don't know what I want. I want more money, I think I know how to do it. I just picture them when I call saying, oh, but you don't want to take money out--because I don't have a job. Haven't had one but for 6 months when I was first homeless. Something pretty awful happened and it got repressed. Then I got into an accident and couldn't work anymore. By the time I recovered, I was so discouraged in general, didn't remember the bad thing, or any of the other really bad stuff from my childhood, didn't know it.  I still have some pain in my hip, and I can't carry a lot of heavy stuff without things going badly, not that heavy but groceries, even from the car to the door. Enough pain that it is really not good to lift stuff, or carry it very far.

But in the last few days I've been just reconsidering all this. I think that there has been this lie in my head all along, that I am NOT CAPABLE of working a normal job. Someone I trust even said, "I can see you working in a doctor's office", just doing billing and stuff. I don't know how to find anything like that, but she mentioned online training. I don't have a computer at home, or wifi, or dialup or anything. Just at the library. DeVry U.

I get the feeling like I am just going forward too fast. Not sure though.

About the blackberry, I remembered that an acquaintance owned a blackberry, the device that helps you get organized. The woman was pretty nice, but I do not care for a blackberry, want a phone and to get online. If I keep my phone, I can get a tablet. Don't know, this stuff usually takes me forever to decide. Goes on & on. But if I could figure out how much money I should allot to the phone, that's going to help. I think I don't have a whole lot of confidence in myself. (that's been the problem forever).
15 November 2016 @ 05:31 pm
I dreamed about George Clooney last night, last thing was gettng into his couch cushions and later making it a SNL sketch, & George was hosting the show. There was a guy who was a younger cast member, or actor who looked like a younger George but 24 or so.

First I was in a room that looked like a jungle or woods, then I call on Jesus, and he is there, but looks like George. I was in a tree, but it had a dead limb, yet it was maybe all dead, I was beginning to suspect that all the trees were dead. It was beginning to look like it was just a room, just a film setup. (reminds me of the studio where they filmed Fangorn forest for LOTR). The limb I was on was just going down and it lowered me into the water. without breaking. I could see nearly submerged logs, but they turned out to be small hippos. LOTS and LOTS of them. To me a river means DENIAL. The hippos might mean Augustine of HIppo. I read his Confessions, when I was about 19. But I have a feeling this might be about FAT. There were lots of hippos and they seemed to be quite young. The room was indeed for filming a movie.

Then I was in someone's house (went to a party the other night), someone sat next to me with a baby, the baby was mixed-race, light skinned african. Tan. This is something in my life that happened in the past, but now is being revealed to me. Something traumatic that I have gotten insight on. An African person in a dream means something blacked out of my life (For me), so a partially black person means not so much blacked out any more.

Just before this I reached into the couch, and pulled out a broken pair of glasses, a wad of string and I one other thing[edit: it occurs to me a broken pair of scissors, just one blade and handle I think. Not really sure about the third item], I can't remember. This was all so mixed up. Then I had the part of the dream about SNL, finding things in George Clooney's couch. It went from being a setup for something funny to being about who would play George.

George is someone else in my life, it's the presence of someone else named George, who I also have blacked out, the time I met him.

The trees are things I'm cursing out of my life, greed, anxiety, etc. That's why they are dead or dying.
09 November 2016 @ 02:44 pm
I am going to say what has been on my mind the last few years: that it is down to every individual, every family, every community or group, every church to provide the best leadership possible, to know what they should be doing. That is the first layer of government, and I'm thinking in most times it is the only. It is the government in our heads and hearts that matters.

And even Barack Obama said in a debate (against Mit Romney? I'm pretty sure) "you've got to have a plan". Our plan at church is Jesus, God's plan is Jesus. Period. It has to start there, and stay there.

A woman I met at the library once said that she had an experience of being taken up into Heaven, and God told her that He is a victorious God, that there is not one time when He is not victorious. That she should realize this every moment of every day, that He is victorious. So I based my Hope icon on this and on my church's programs, which are Hope Over Heroin, Hope is Here, and some others, but they have these two that are, well, HOPEful. Twenty four hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. And also this one, the Victory icon. In Honor of the election results. At church we had a 21 day Daniel fast for this, to pray for the country.

I support the platform, am sorry about Trump's flaws, but hope the presidency will mellow his worse faults. And I had this odd thought pop into my head a few weeks ago: What if Trump wins, but something happens to him and Mike Pence is then in charge?
09 November 2016 @ 12:53 pm
Giving Catholics the Holy Spirit, without giving them the Word of God also, just isn't going to work. Just one of the thoughts on my mind today.

Another: someone just posted this comment on this story on LJ's front page:

posted by:

November 9 2016, 07:37:14 Edited: November 9 2016, 07:40:18

"So this. I am so sick of listening to misogynist fuckwits (even on the left) trot out versions of the 'corrupt Killary' mantra. Like Michael Moore, I found actually researching her life (rather than sucking up & passing on innuendo) reveals a really admirable human being. In office, she'd have pushed the arc in a hopeful direction. But America is still too soaked in machismo to handle female authority, so any woman running for presidency will have some variety of 'bitch'\'witch' characterisation. Meanwhile, Americans just chose to erase the Obama years, and shift the arc back to the 1950s, when white men were properly in charge. Fuck them."

About the innuendo: I read Hitch-22, Christopher Hitchens biography a couple of years ago. He criticized a number of celebrities, like Mother Teresa and Princess Diana (lots of men too), and I am pretty sure I agree with his criticisms, especially Mother Teresa, who was always campaigning for Roman Catholic sainthood, even if she didn't say it in so many words. She accepted a lot of money from her friends who were dictators, like The Marcos family and Papa Doc Duvalier of Haiti. (she did not have to do this, God provides clean money to some people, for a reason, to do charity work).

At  any rate, Hitches says Clinton is a lesbian, she and her friend/roommate used to hold mixed-sex parties at her college dorm. Her whole purpose was to meet women, specifically other lesbians.

NOBODY is saying that. Surely other  people read this book, but news shows are not saying this (maybe reporters are not well read or it just escaped them. What people are saying is witch, nasty woman, etc. MACHINE is what columnist Charles Krauthammer called her, heartless machine. She and husband Bill take all kinds of money from rich people in exchange for political favors or promises of political favors. Or it is just understood that that is how this game is played.

But nobody is addressing the issue directly. No one is bringing it up. She just stayed with her husband and did not go through with the process of being with a woman in public (assuming she's not a sex addict who has to cheat on her partner) was not going to happen, she doesn't have  the courage to either get Jesus and repent--and probably talk about her past, or come out and be brave as a Lesbian and fight that particular fight. She's just making a name for herself like Mother Teresa.

As far as researching her life, I haven't done a huge amount, but she is not an outstanding character, other than being middle or upper middle class, polite, and committed to herself and liberal politics. The flaw of liberals is to give away a ton of money, so that we don't have enough for the countries other interests, just keeping people alive and giving them a place to live, free birth control and abortions. But not providing enough for police, fire, military and money for rebuilding bridges, roads, etc. And tax, tax, tax, or make health care tremendously expensive for people who are not so poor that they have to rely on government for food and housing.

I am wondering what dorispossum thinks is so remarkable about Hillary, other than her being the first woman to run for US president and get within such a close range of winning (others have run, just not with this much progress).

I bring up Hitchens because he seems to have been a good journalist, had a great memory and doesn't pull punches when it comes to women. He doesn't rely much on innuendo or name calling. He did call Henry Kissinger a murderer, but only after doing his best to say why. I don't agree at all with HItchens in his atheist and antitheist stance, I think there are a number of questions I'd like to ask him. Such as why if he liked his life as much as he said he did, why he did not make a greater attempt to live. I know he had a very nasty cancer, but even sometimes what sounds like crazy cures work in medecine. Also, as for the Chistians he was on speaking terms with, why did he believe the ones who said to him, "there are no miracles"? Surely there were some miracles he believed happened, whether or not he  attributed them to a divine cause? Sometimes there are things that can be explained no other way, than to say there is more than we know that explains it, it seems to me. He didn't even get to that step, much less try real religion, which is staying free of false religion and sin, together with helping those who cannot help themselves.

Hitchens & Hillary: https://youtu.be/qE8PG2mpo58
08 November 2016 @ 05:30 pm
I need to go vote in a bit, I completely forgot until a couple minutes ago. I feel like an idiot. I do know that I am voting the party line, but ...I just am going to get the list of Republican candidates and issues from party volunteers outside the polling place, and go in and vote the party line. I hope this is okay.
07 November 2016 @ 04:40 pm
I have been getting up early, taking short walks. I saw Orion, and heard in my head, "Rigel". Well I looked up Rigel and it's in Orion, it's I think the major star, except that Betelgeuse will sometimes be brighter, it is variable. Also I have seen the Big Dipper, Ursa Major I guess. It was vertical, with the cup end up, the handle pointing down.

I really need a new phone, need all kinds of stuff, but am rather scared to spend. I don't know why now that I think of it. But then I am reminded I burned through a certain amount of money this year, and I did not spend it the way I should, I got food and some clothes, but not the books I meant to get, it somehow ...my mind would get in a turmoil. Okay, this is--come to think of it--what my friends would think is the Devil trying to keep me concerned about the material, and not what I should be learning/doing. How can this happen? I did not do everything wrong with the money, but I still think my attitude needs adjustment.
04 November 2016 @ 05:33 pm
31 October 2016 @ 04:48 pm

newspaper (clipped to polyvore.com)
24 October 2016 @ 05:22 pm
"Everything we see happening in the world today is a spiritual war for the souls of men." "If you want to grow the Church, persecute the church."--JD Farag Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UECFIWxjGc

I don't like to think of that, it gets people killed. And tortured. I hope not, though. Sometimes non-persecution leads to growing spiritually. [edited to add, persecution is a good thing sometimes, if it does what God wants it to do.]

Hillary or Donald. Donald for me, because of the Republican platform. Also, maybe something will happen and Mike Pence will be president.

Political columnist Charles Krauthammer said this week that Hillary is a machine with no heart, unlike someone like Elizabeth Warren. I don't know Ms. Warren, but I agree about Hillary. It seems to me  stood by Bill Clinton because she felt her political opportunities woud be greater. She wanted to be Secretary of State and President too. I think it is more important to have a heart and a better agenda. I know politicians are known for changing their promises, but Hillary I don't trust.

The other thing that turns me off about her in Krauthammer's column is the corruption. She and Bill have accepted money from all kinds of people in return for political favors, too much.

Benghazi I know very little about, it's a long story what was going on in my life at during most of the Obama presidency, but I have not really familiarized myself with that yet, I have a lot of ground still to cover in knowing recent US politics.

By the way, it occurred to me strongly last week that if Trump gets elected, maybe something would happen to him, and then  Mike Pence (who would then be Vice-President) would take over. This idea just grabbed me.  I love it.

Or maybe he will be able to stabilize Trump and stabilize policies.
20 October 2016 @ 04:29 pm
Of course this is hard to prove, I am not finished with the viewings, want to save them for later. You never know, is all I can think.

Notes:  The man in the first video claims that Christ's blood is on the mercy seat of the ark of the covenant. It is from a human who has only one parent, the Y (male) chromosome.

There was an earthquake and a crack opened allowing the blood from his side, when the Roman soldier stabbed him with his lance, to drip into the chamber onto the mercy seat of the Ark.

This was in 1982, the Jews and angels have kept it hidden and in waiting for the 3rd rebuilding of the Temple. This is due to happen soon. Chernobyl (Wormwood) has occurred, Israel is a nation again, the nations of the world have abandoned Israel. It is all happening. The One world church will be the Roman Catholic church, the antichrist is probably... Mr. Wyatt, the archaeogist, said angels kept it hidden at the bidding of God. The Ark will be revealed when the Antichrist or the Beast enacts the Sunday law, a law that will require worship to only be on Sundays, not Saturday ever--the Sabbath will be on Sundays.

[EDIT, 10.27.16:
"The non-canonical book of 2 Maccabees reports that just prior to the Babylonian invasion, Jeremiah, “following a divine revelation, ordered that the tabernacle and the ark should accompany him and...he went off to the mountain which Moses climbed to see God's inheritance [i.e., Mt. Nebo; cf. Deuteronomy 31:1-4]. When Jeremiah arrived there, he found a room in a cave in which he put the tent, the ark, and the altar of incense; then he blocked up the entrance” (2:4-5). However, “Some of those who followed him came up intending to mark the path, but they could not find it. When Jeremiah heard of this, he reproved them: ‘The place is to remain unknown until God gathers his people together again and shows them mercy. Then the Lord will disclose these things, and the glory of the Lord will be seen in the cloud, just as it appeared in the time of Moses and when Solomon prayed that the Temple might be gloriously sanctified’” (2:6-8). It is not known if this secondhand (see 2:1) account is accurate; even if it is, we will not know until the Lord comes back, as the account itself claims.

Other theories concerning the whereabouts of the lost ark include Rabbis Shlomo Goren and Yehuda Getz’s claim that it is hidden beneath the temple mount, having been buried there before Nebuchadnezzar could steal it away. Unfortunately, the temple mount is now home to the Dome of the Rock, an Islamic holy site, and the local Muslim community refuses to allow it to be excavated. So we cannot know if Rabbis Goren and Getz are correct.

Explorer Vendyl Jones, among others, believes that an artifact found among the Dead Sea Scrolls, the enigmatic “Copper Scroll” of Qumran Cave 3, is actually a treasure map of sorts detailing the location of a number of precious treasures taken from the temple before the Babylonians arrived, among them the lost Ark of the Covenant. Whether or not this is true remains to be seen, as no one has yet been able to locate all of the necessary geographical landmarks listed on the scroll. Interestingly, some scholars speculate that the Copper Scroll may actually be the record referred to in 2 Maccabees 2:1 and 4, which describes Jeremiah hiding the ark. While this is an interesting speculation, it remains unsubstantiated. "


Deathbed confession reveals Ron Wyatt meant Sunday Law when he said Mark of the Beast

Transcript: http://www.covenantkeepers.co.uk/last_interview.html
20 October 2016 @ 02:29 pm
19 October 2016 @ 03:24 pm
A few weeks ago I made some hot chili sesame oil, and I noticed that my stomach didn't feel so good. I had a weird ulcer, that at one point flared up like fire, just for a short time. I was in counciling with a couple from church and he prayed over me, and it went away. But it hurts, mildly, in the same spot, that it did before, when I eat chili oil. I guess the conventional faith healing wisdom is that I need to get to the root of whatever is making me hold it in.

I guess it's just keep praying! It is better, much, from its worst days.
18 October 2016 @ 04:26 pm
Some journal covers:

some journal coversCollapse )
17 October 2016 @ 03:38 pm
My friend wants so see Arranged, a DVD about 2 American women who have just graduated college and are grade school teachers. One is from an Orthodox Jewish family, one from and Arab family, and it turns out both sets of parents are going to start looking at prospective husbands for their daughters. It is pretty good, I was describing it to my friend, she liked the sound of it. ( I also watched Third Person and Jack Reacher, Jack Reacher being just a thriller, though at least it featured Werner Herzog as the villain. He is in real life a filmmaker, director).

I had an odd dream about high school and then college, last night, that I had an end of year exam with my college English professor. But when I got there, I was directed to a computer screen and I decided to switch from Art to Music on the screen. I think then it seemed like it was NOT any longer a final exam but  regular class, but at the same time I kept thinking it was a final exam.  I started crying and got the attention of some woman. But it sort of felt that I was crying to get attention. Also everytime I went to sit at a desk, it would be the wrong desk, it would have someone's jacket and books there. Even though it was supposed to be my class, or my final exam, there was not enough seats for me.

I ended up being driven home by a woman I don't know. I don't know how I got into her car. Also, when I drove past my house, I told her that was my house and she made up some excuse for why she couldn't stop.

Then I woke up.

 I just started thinking about my English professor from my incomplete college career, and a phone call I had with my mother, and one time when I felt sick because I had been staying up late to complete my end of semester projects, papers, whatever. I was shaky and someone else offered to help me, and I felt stupid because I really shouldn't need it, that I was just being lazy. Also that  I didn't care to do my own work. All it was was cutting some cardboard, so it was not really so dishonest, I guess I was just being a perfectionist.
Tags: ,
08 October 2016 @ 05:42 pm
I had a weird feeling early this morning, felt I should read Micah. At first I read saw some condemning things and had the paranoid feeling that God was condemning me. I've had that feeling before and then found out it was false, of course. But today someone at thequestionclub asked if we had stories we thought no one else would believe. I answered that there was one from last year when the Bataclan concert hall in Paris was attacked, and 100 people died.

The Saturday before the shooting, I had been having very paranoid feelings, and was cleaning up or something, and flipped through my old French language textbook, which I had not touched for years. I landed on the following picture of a woman waiting for a bus or taxi, I guess:


This is what jumped out at me. I knew that it meant something other than "traitor comes", figured out that "comes" was the first part of the word "comestibles" and looking in the dictionary that traiteur was French for "trattoria", restaurant.


 I felt the words "seven days" come into my head. Seven days later the Bataclan was assaulted by terrorists.

And last night I felt this creepy feeling, the condemnation in the Bible (which was another part of what happened in the days before, the feeling I was being condemned by God, on that same Saturday previous, I believe). It was early this morning when I thought I should read the book of Micah, which I mostly just skimmed, though it's a short book. I've felt this before, previous to other terrorist acts, though perhaps not so clearly and so detailed. But I wonder if something is going to happen now. I would not even have remembered it if someone at TQC had not asked the question.


note: a week or two ago, I heard "cartographer" in my head, and later in the day I went downstairs and the mail had come--there was a request from Doctors Without Borders, and a world map in it. Just interesting. With everything in the world happening lately, the violence--not to mention the Biblical prediction for Demascus coming true, I guess anything could happen. But something is going to happen. God is in the mix here.
06 October 2016 @ 06:44 pm
I killed a caterpillar on the way here because God told me to.

Completely forgot about it till I came back from making journals, taking a break, talking with Maadmike.

I think it was prophetic about getting rid of incest in my family. Silly, but for me incest is a soundalike word with insects. A caterpillar is a juvenile insect. A small thing that might get larger. No matter how fancy it is, it is...incest.The mind is a powerful thing.
04 October 2016 @ 02:37 pm
30 September 2016 @ 03:18 pm
I am getting rid of some mattresses that someone gave me, KING size box springs and a mattress. Why king sized I don't know. They have been sitting in the front hall forever(a year?), but I have to wrap the mattress in plastic before hauling out to the curb. I didn't want to throw them away because someone gave them to me, my Al-anon sponsor. After 13 years in the program, and about 8 years of her sponsoring, I just backed out. What got me was after after all that time, she said, "Al-anon is about getting what you want". It's not. It's about acceptance, about not letting the alcoholic/s rip your guts out and derail you and distract you. About getting on with your life.

Nowhere in the books does it say it's about getting what you want, nor is it implied. It is in the sense that sometimes it's a good idea. It's just not the main focus.

The whole thing got to be a drudge rather quickly, and a couple years before the end, I had this dream as I woke up. I saw the hallway outside my room and then the stairs up to my sister's room, used to be my room. I heard "dah nah goa, dah nah groa" -- faux Celtic I think, and it didn't take me long to get, If you don't go, you won't grow. If I don't do the steps, I will be at a disadvantage spiritually.

Now I'm thinking I have no idea where the dream came from, I wish I'd just left and known where to go. But I didn't. If I'd known then what I know now....
19 September 2016 @ 01:25 pm
Also, a question about the death of a child.  I did not note that when I was writing in journal about what I did ...Sat.?... online.

I guess I have to go, shopping with Carolyn today.
19 September 2016 @ 01:23 pm
I did not eat at Wendy's Sat. because I could hear Pastor Billy saying how, "you'll spend five, or twenty, bucks" at McDonald's but not give to the Kingdom.

I did eat @ Wendy's,  $2.87, on Sun, I just needed to  GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I thought I was going to put my paper journal together, I have to glue the pages in at the end of the month, as I go along. I'm just really tired of it, have lost the patience for now. Maybe never do it.

I am going to get Atoma notebooks from now on I think, I do like the option to have one journal for each month, instead of starting one in July and then not wanting to waste paper, so start August with the last 20 pages; like that. It seems pricey. But I feel like that's just the way it is. I need to journal, for whatever reason.