The guy obviously had gay tendencies, he was a regular at clubs. He hated gay people though. I think he hated his father, that his father must have been a boy-freaking beggarer. JD Farag, who grew up in Egypt, says that's big in Arab culture.
A picture growing in my mind is men taking out their anger on their wives, mothers, whoever, by raping nephews, sons, whoever. It is just how people behave in bad circumstances, when things go on generation after generation. In the right circumstances it will happen in any culture. And in either sex, because in the US, half of the offenders in child molestation cases are women.
He apparently had no respect for women, made nasty comments about the anatomy of a woman he didn't know, in a gym.
What it feels like to me is that he hated himself for being gay, and that he thought he could purge himself of being gay by committing a "sacred act" of mass murder, kill a lot of gay men so allah would accept him.
Oh, and he was a steroid abuser. Great, a man out to do his god a favor by purifying the world, forgot to purify himself.
Go to about 5.00
their clothes were sort an outfit that looks like a nightshirt and skinny-legged pajamas. All three hats were white, the 3 men had pale skin, and long dark curly beards. View 2 of the hat is more accurate, the bottom edge of it dipped a little in front of the ears.
I kind if assumed they were of a country/religion that didn't care for women walking up to men and saying, "hey, where are you guys from!?".
I found a pen here at the library and turned it in at the desk. It was rather nice, and now I feel like a Pollyanna for turning it in. Oh, well. I do like the Bic Cristal 1.6mm ballpoints I got, 7$ for box of 24 or something like that. I used to LOVE fine point pens and now it's like, no thanks.
I forgot my flash drive and wanted to play with some textures I had on it. Darn. Trying to find them again on the web is just about impossible.
mikvah means baptism | shavuaa means seven
I made a post and kept it private, because I was in too funky a mood to say how I felt. Then a friend came in, I had not seen him in a while. His baby died. His wife or girlfriend was there, just tearful. I said what I could.
I do feel funky. Sort of everything I do is wrong, can't shake it yet.
This computer stinks for sound. Need to move to another.
I have something telling me there was a simple solution: "...all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer". ("What a Friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry Everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry Everything to God in prayer!"). I think it's true, I haven't thought/written it all out yet at home yet. It seems so sad.
I guess I go on the defensive immediately, like who ever taught me to take anything to the Lord in prayer--nobody in my youth. With my parents, who seemed religious, it was just whatever they really wanted, I don't get the sense either of them had a prayer life. I am glad I have one. It would probably be boring to anyone else, if they were not already interested in this, but I did not live well without it, just got walked all over and angry and
[eta: Er, started this Saturday and now...it was really weird that day, I have no idea what I did not "go to the Lord in prayer" about. The thing was a. I don't know what it was about, no doubt something I should have done at least for my own good but didn't, and b. it went away the next day, and it still seems like it should have been an issue.]
Er, rambly post is rambly. In the dream I was sort of picking some old scars, literally looking at my behind in a mirror. And wondering if there were some way I could still get that creep to go to jail.
So I was picking at old wounds.
I am reading some things though, and it sounds like all inheritance taxes are already paid.
& another site but ...
It wasn't that much money anyway.
I also just thought I should have been getting earned income tax credit all these years. But I got scared every time I thought about it. Long story.
( Er, this is unrelated, the significance of the number three:Collapse )
Anyway a few weeks ago he could not write with his left hand and now he can. He said they were chicken scratches but he showed it to me, and they were readable[edit: he was over the moon about this. He was so grateful to have recovery. He was talking about the neurology and his brain is constantly communicating with his immune system, so he is never sick. He says he has eidetic memory. He showed me the moment of his accident, and it was exactly like the position of arms and face of a priest who died in a chemical explosion experiment (his own).
Also he said his father told him to keep a business, personal and health journal.
[ETA He said he'd make me some jewelry, free. He used to produce for a store around here.]
Friday dream, from last week: I was in my apartment (not that I have one!) and my friends came over, then had to go, I think their bus was coming. All but Carol, she was taking a later bus. I realized she was still there, was in the bathroom, was going to close the door maybe. But she was sitting there, her head and right arm turning blue. I put my hand on or above her right arm and prayed, FY-ER, like at church, holy fire is what predisposed itself in my head. And she turned a normal color, was fine, had to go.
I woke up. Every thing in the apartment was white, so I'm guessing this means after death, or the Kingdom of Heaven. Probably the Kingdom. I had thought it was a cardiac event, stroke, heart attack, whatever. But when I woke up, I realized that the heart is on the left side. This meant the heart is not on the right side, but that the heart is in the right place. I had prayed that Christians should get the Holy Spirit at the Tues. night intercessory prayer service, & one of my friends started crying at her Methodist service on the following Sunday. They had sung How Great Thou Art. She explained later at a meeting I was at, that she had never realized before how great God is. If you take the idea my pastor said, that your dreams are about you, even when one is about someone else. So MY heart is in the right place. But that usually is said when you are not quite right.
Sunday dream, David Duchovny, he liked me, he really liked me! In this dream, we were maybe working at the same place, maybe he was sort of Fox Mulder. I kept thinking well, he really seems interested, he is so nice and friendly and acting normal. But then I was thinking, but it doesn't feel real, doesn't feel like there is a possibility of depth in a relationship. I think he really just wants to use me like Kleenex and he's just thinking I'm vaguely a cut above what he usually uses. I woke up and I'm thinking girl, DD ain't ever, would never have been interested in you at 17, ain't never gonna be interested at this age/weight especially and yeah, it's not a marital interest. I think I sort of knew it was a dream, and I was interested in whether I could use it to have a relationship in my imagination that I could not have in real life. -->[Sunday I think, I had a dream about David Duchovny, that he was "interested" in me, seemed to be genuine but I kept thinking, oh, does he really like me? Pretty stupid and pitiful. It just did not seem like real love. I kept thinking well, of coure this is silly, he is just really going to use me and throw me away, duh. But he was being so nice and it really seemed like he liked me. Of course, I didn't/don't really have what it takes to interest David Duchovny. But I think I knew it was a dream and thougth somehow I could enjoy "the real thing" in a dream, but of course it was not the real thing, so a waste of time of a dream.Oops, somehow wrote it out twice, but there it is.
( more dreams & just stuff...Collapse )
All key prophecies are moving together now, not some.
Ezekiel 38: God will put a hook in the mouth of a Ru. & Iranian led movement to attack and gain spoils. Israel is very very prosperous AND has recently found Natural Gas, therefore there will be OIL found. So much to gain in Israel. European Union interest in their oil for Europe's energy needs.
( Ezekiel 38...Collapse )
RUssia supplies EU with natural gas. So of course Russia is interested in this oil. So Putin is interested in lowering prices to the European Union.
Isaiah 17: Damascus becoming a ruined heap. Syria borders Lebanon, where you could snow ski in am, surfing in afternoon, the Paris of the Middle East. Syria a beautiful place once upon a time. World stunned to learn Russion is withdrawing troops from Syria. JD says Putin will leave a large # of troops in Syria, not really withdraw very many. This brought fear to Israel, I guess. "Israel defense chief sees inevitable Syrian collapse amid Russian exit" -- headline Wash. Post. Collapse of Syria immanent because of this.
( Isaiah Ch 17Collapse )
US State Dept. to miss declaration of genocide against ISIS atrocities against Christians. Us State Dept. Webpage has completely erased Israel from their site. Only cities, not the country, are referenced, Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. JD says he would like to see what will happen to those who do this to Israel, because the Old Testament still stands, He will curse those who curse Jews, (and ERASE those who erase them).
Petra> during last 3 1/2 years of Tribulation, Jews will flee to there according to some. Jews have bought real estate there, Jordan has passed law prohibiting sale of Petra real estate to Israelis/Jews. Jordan is on the side of Palestinians.
HE will preserve His remnant people and and His nation Israel. JD is wondering what will happen to the USA. Sudden destruction comes upon the unprepared.
[Tuesday] I am confused about what's going on, have not voted since 2000 (or was it 1999?). I feel like an idiot.
Got N. and J. some lunch and went to class meeting/bible study whatever it is now. We prayed some more, having prayed for Nita for a solution to the upstairs neighbor problem. There are only supposed to be X number of people in the building, but the woman has her mother, her mother's boyfriend and a bunch of kids, and the boyfriend's brothers. And they do nothing but make noise and give N. and her daughter a hard time. This has been going on for I don't know how long but too long. So we had prayed for it earlier, and then we went for lunch and then we did bible meeting though we were the only three. N. wanted to pray for leadership, which was a very good idea, esp. given the day. So we did.
She is really racked up over this and is just stressed out, has been keeping it in. Poor baby. And her daughter doesn't need this.
[edit to add: Voted! Just the primary, and was surprised to see a certain person on the ballot, thought she was the other party. But she's on "my" ballot.
Sweaty, I don't like that, doubt I'll be able to take a shower before I go to church. Maybe I'll have to though.
I didn't get a sticker darnit, started back in the place because I remembered seeing someone else with a sticker this morning. Then I thought I'm not going to make and issue out of it, probably not all voting locations have them.
I am wondering if I ever voted in a primary before. I really didn't have any confidence ever in my life that I could really vote, which is weird. Maybe I did when I was young, maybe once. But mainly I just really believed my vote didn't count, and my standing in my family was so low that I really felt I couldn't do anything that they told me I couldn't do.
BTW, N. says she lost a certain president when he refused to support Israel. Good on you N.]